Jealousy

   ” emotionally intelligent people know when it is right to control their emotions… and when it is right to be controlled by them.”
 D. Evans “Emotions. VSI
Have you ever experienced this mixed feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety? Feelings and thoughts that make you feel unimportant but in the same time very very selfish. This complex ambivalent emotion when you are furious but, in the deepest sense, extremely vulnerable. Have you ever felt jealous*?
And probably, you have been telling yourself that it is wrong, you should not feel this way, and that you should stop it NOW. But wait! Is it really that bad? And if it is, why all people in this universe experience it? It would be stupid to deny that emotions can lead people to do something that they later regret. But maybe there is a limit at which this emotion is not destructive? And why even in the Bible, God positions himself as “jealous God”? So I looked closer and here is what I found.
    Science has two views to interpret emotions generally: negative and positive. The positive view of emotions does not hold that emotions are always useful. Rather, it maintains (contra the negative view of emotions) that the best recipe for success is a mixture of reason and emotion, not reason alone. So I studied researches, made on positive outcomes, particularly of jealousy. Well, truth to be told, studies say that all other things being equal when a person is jealous negative outcomes surpass the positive ones. It leads people to possessive and intrusive behavior rather then stimulates them to show more affection and care and almost never is interpreted as a sign of being loved and valued.
From a theological  point of view God in Exodus 20:5 says that He is a jealous God. Since God is perfect and cannot sin and He says  He gets jealous logically we must deduce from that there is a right kind of jealousy, a good jealousy and that, yes, there is such a thing as having a divine jealousy. Studying some verses in the Bible and commentaries it becomes clearer what kind of feeling God is talking about. Divine jealousy is not selfish. It is concerned for the self and is protective of what belongs to them but not at the expense of what is best for the other party. A godly jealousy is not suspicious. It wants to trust and is willing to take a chance and do the actions of trust even when the feelings of trust are not there yet. It doesn’t want to hurt but will cause hurt if the short-term punishment will lead to the long-term good of a better and restored relationship.
But being sincere, how many of us can equilibrate this feeling? How many of us will act jealously because of a greater good for other person or the relationship itself and not because we simply want attention? And still, how many of us would feel that s/he is truly loved if were never showed any signs of jealousy at all?
* being jealous and being envious is two conceptually different ideas. Jealous person “perceives that he or she possesses a valued relationship, but is in danger of losing it or at least of having it altered in an undesirable manner,” whereas the envious person “does not possess a valued commodity, but wishes to possess it.
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